“Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.”
What kind of a law is that to make up? And who would want it named after them?
I am currently blaming this Murphy for a number of the following less than convenient phenomena in my life
- I constantly remember to brush my teeth directly after I have applied my lip gloss in the morning. Every time. I get up at 7.10 for work at 7.30 – I ain’t got time to reapply that shit!
- Gettin’ the shift (and so forth) only happens on days when my hair hasn’t been washed and my legs aren’t shaved. This is, apparently, a universal phenomenon, but that doesn’t make it any less annoying.
- Between Sunday and Thursday, my sleep pattern will go as follows: Doze fitfully from 12:00 – 6:50 when the alarm goes off, often after dreaming vividly about cats. Between 6:50- 7:10 [when I reallllly have to get up] I will have the most amazing sleep of my life. Bleary-eyed I’ll wander around the room picking stuff up and putting it down again, trying to get appropriate clothes on before I drag myself the 200 metres to work. Naturally, at the weekend when I have all the time in the world to sleep, I will wake up at 9 and not be able to get back to sleep.
- On days when have gotten myself together enough to blowdry and straighten my hair, put on some make-up and dress nicely, nothing will be going on. I will most likely sit in my room reading. But on the evening I run out to the supermarket in my work clothes, not having run a brush through my hair, attractive men will ring for impromptu drinks (cue legging it around Al Wahdah mall with a mere ten minutes to find a reasonably priced, sexy-but-not-slutty top to wear).
- If I am dieting a coworker will bring chocolate to school for all. If I am quitting drinking old friends will come to town to party. Now it’s entirely my own fault that I don’t have the self-discipline to stick to my goals anyway, but I’ll tell ya this much for nathin’, Murphy is not helping.
So, who is this Murphy? And why is he ruining our lives? Your correspondent took to wikipedia to find the answers.
Well, apparently it was known as Reilly’s Law first anyway, which goes to show nothing but that anything that can go wrong will go wrong was definitely espoused by an Irishman. As for Murphy –
…The Law’s namesake was Capt. Ed Murphy, a development engineer from Wright Field Aircraft Lab. Frustration with a strap transducer which was malfunctioning due to an error in wiring the strain gage bridges caused him to remark – “If there is any way to do it wrong, he will” – referring to the technician who had wired the bridges at the Lab. I assigned Murphy’s Law to the statement and the associated variations.
Hmmm. Good to know.
Next week on oracularspectacular: Giving up make-up – an altogether more realistic goal than giving up drinking. Same bat time, same bat channel.