{NSFW} “I mean – you can’t even have morning sex.”

I have a confession to make everyone.*

I strongly recommend that family members close the page now. [Don’t say I didn’t warn you]. Al-right, hold on to your hats.

I have pubic hair.

Phew! I am so glad I got that off my chest. Are you done retching or reeling in shock? I know the shock announcement of this completely natural phenomenon falls somewhere between “I pick my nose and eat it” and “I lost my virginity to my cousin” on the disgust-ometer. In a world that is obsessed with the female body and sexuality, it seems like public hair is the last taboo. But I’m inclined to think feminist writer Caitlin Moran is right when she says that two of the most vital things a woman can own are a pair of yellow shoes and a muff.

katie-harrington-ireland-blogWhilst having tea with some lovely lady friends the other day, the topic came up as one of our number was off to have her vagina waxed. She was going to be having some sex that night and apparently these days waxing is a necessary precursor.  Necessary. It’s not something I’ve ever felt the need to do. Surprising as it may be, I have never felt the need to hand over any of my hard-earned cash to have a stranger spread sticky stuff over my nether regions and wax my pubes off strip by strip. It’s painful. And they make you go on all-fours to do your ass crack. Crazy as I very may well be, it just doesn’t sound like a whole pile of fun.

But somehow, with our over-the-top modern expectations of female grooming, it has become necessary. Why? Because if you just shave, according to my colleagues:  “You can’t even have morning sex”. Really ladies? One night’s worth of regrowth such a horrendous thing that you couldn’t let your other half near you? Apparently so.

The thing is, if and when I eventually have a baby, I’d like my Baby Daddy to be there for the birth. Now he’s going to have to deal with a lot in that situation; dilation, an umbilical cord, possible even involuntary pooping, not to mention a tiny human fighting its way out of my body. If he can’t deal with the idea that a woman might have some pubic hair, I’m just not sure he’s going to be able for all of that. I need a man made of sterner stuff.

The idea that women should be bare down there is a relatively recent phenomenon. I’m blaming porn for giving men the idea that only a vagina with less hair than that of a 14 year old can be considered attractive. The pictures dotted around this post are from 1970s issues of Playboy and Penthouse and I think they’re pretty sexy. Don’t you? Beautiful women, owning their bodies.

I’m not opposed to a bit of “maintenance” as you might put it, you certainly don’t need to consider me an advocate of Keith Lemon’s Jackson 5 theory! I’m merely throwing it out there that in a world without taboos, we accept that women were given pubic hair by evolution or by God depending on what you believe in, and it’s not necessary to get rid of it.

Your thoughts?

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Comment (21)

  • Edel| March 31, 2016

    This needed to be said so badly! Thanks for writing this on behalf of all women!

  • Tara- Hippie Hits The Road| March 31, 2016

    This is a FANTASTIC post! I actually recently wrote an article about how having body hair is really empowering to me. I love hearing other people with the same views 🙂

  • Brenda| March 31, 2016

    Thanks a lot for this post!
    I must admit I shave, but not religiously. It has never been a sin or a reason for not having sex (for example) the fact that I have some growth, doesnt matter if its a bush or not.
    So, I guess we should start calling it a matter of how you feel comfortable than only hygene. If it came naturally, then it must have a reason to be there.

    • Katie| April 1, 2016

      I shave now and then too! I’ve got no issue with it, I just don’t think it should be considered necessary!

  • Mira| April 1, 2016

    I am glad you reposted it Katie! Otherwise I wouldn’t know that there are woman who believe this way too because I do. Why should there be pressure of waxing or changing my body for the sake of man. I’m no feminist I’m married with 4 children and I still ask the same question whether I should shave before going to the labour ward? Or I have a smear test coming and I’m more terrified about showing my pubic hair than the actual test.,what is appropriate in this instance can anybody clarify?

  • Omar| April 1, 2016

    How should I put this? As a man with hardly a spotless nether region myself. I don’t think it’s fair of me to ask a woman to do something I have no intention of ever doing. I don’t have a lot of experience in this area, but I imagine there is some discomfort involved for men “going down” on a woman with a bush. To that I say, suck it up lads a little discomfort won’t kill you. I don’t think a little maintenance is a lot to ask,but u see your point. No power on earth is making me ever go anywhere near my “area” with any kind of wax. I would like to say, for myself, I won’t ask a woman to do anything to me I wouldn’t do to her. I think that’s something I can hold to, I mean I’m up for a little discomfort, but a little maintenance would be nice. That’s it all I have to say ladies.

    Cheers,

  • Ojo Henley| April 1, 2016

    Oh my goodness, YES! I’m all for a bit of grooming, I detest body hair, but that stuff must be there for a reason, so let’s leave it there! x

  • Louise Ryan| April 1, 2016

    Thank you, thank you!!! You are saying what a lot of women are too afraid to say! I don’t have time or money to wax, nor do I enjoy my flaps being waxed at all. I maintain a tidy garden and that does the job. The odd time if swimwear is involved the old reliable Veet makes any appearance. I’m happily married to my husband with the current state of my garden and I’m not going to engage with it any further. Anyone that claims they need a hair free mound for sex is hiding from a lot more than a few stray hairs. Bravo!

  • Sinead| April 1, 2016

    I have to say I do groom mine with waxing treatments and keep it tidy for hygiene reasons and it makes me feel good also. If i went for a while without keeping it “tidy” it wouldn’t bother me or my boyfriend . He doesn’t really like that “bald” look either . And he also keeps his tidy for himself and personal hygiene reason .

    • Katie| April 1, 2016

      I think that’s totally cool. I have no issue at all with the idea of women getting waxed – only with the idea that it’s a “must” for all women!

  • Zoe| April 1, 2016

    I love this post! Back in my single years when having a discussion with a friend where I admitted I had never waxed, trimmed or shaved she was astounded and her first question was to ask did my ex boyfriends/guys I was sleeping with never have an issue with it. At the time nobody ever had said a word but as I told my friend, even if they had I would have showed them the door then and there. I do now wax on occasion but its when I feel like it, but the idea that this is a prerequisite to a man seeing you naked is ridiculous. My boyfriend has his preference for my body hair, but it is a preference and that is it. He would rather my legs are shaved all the time too but thats not going to happen either – either way he loves me for me and wouldn’t ever complain about it. Though the general, the trend and attitude these days paints a worrying picture for young girls today! Posts like this help that in so many ways!

  • Marge Gavan| April 2, 2016

    I wax and I shave and it’s a personal choice. Personally, I don’t feel very clean with pubes, I’m not saying women with pubs are unclean, I’m just saying that I feel that way with myself. But whether women want to be with hair down there or not is their choice. To each “her” own I guess.

    • Katie| April 2, 2016

      Yup – whatever works for you is absolutely cool. I just wonder how perceptions can change so much in say 25 years.

  • Kat| April 2, 2016

    I guess the same can be said with shaving leg hair. In the Philippines it’s really not an issue, but apparently in other countries (or at least countries portrayed in movies), women are expected to shave this off to have smooth legs.

    • Katie| April 4, 2016

      That’s a really good point Kat, this expectation seems to be dominating culture in white countries moreso than others. There are parts of Continental Europe where having body hair is normal.

  • Darlene| April 3, 2016

    Yeah it’s not necessary to remove it since there’s probably a good reason why our bodies have it. I have tried waxing and I like the feeling it gives me. I do it for myself and for no other reason. But I can live without waxing. Just some maintenance here and then. And it is true that society and media is probably the driving force why our preferences change.

  • mark wyld| April 27, 2016

    Ha ha great read and the comments from other woman have been added to the conversation.

  • FlutePlayer| May 16, 2016

    What ornaments a greenfield is its grass – Qatari proverb.

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