Manners for Dummies… A Reference Guide for the Rest of You

Do you care what I think of you? Maybe not. But if you do, you better start remembering what your mam taught you back in the day. I don’t care how much money you make or what car you drive; the color of your skin, your religion and your sexual orientation are not factors in whether or not we can be friends. But your ability to show other human beings common courtesy – that’s important.

Do I expect people to stand on ceremony? Raise their pinkies when they drink? No. All I’m talking about is showing other people you meet on a day-to-day basis a basic level of kindness – like you’d want them to treat you, or your mate or your granny.

See, when I meet you and see you have good manners, I automatically assume that you are intelligent, well educated and stable. What is more, I assume you are a nice person. That’s an incredibly good impression to make on a stranger really. And manners are 100% free. How convenient.

If you need some tips on how to get started, here are some really easy ones:

  • Say “please” and “thank you”. Always. Every time someone does any kind of little favor for you without exception. Since my grade one classes were able to manage this one, I will consider you a moron if you can’t.
  • When someone says thanks to you, say “you’re welcome”.
    *bonus points for either of the above if you also say “have a good day”, it’s just a nice touch
  • Hold the door for the person behind you
  • Smile at people.
  • If you’re an able-bodied adult, stand the heck up if a small child, an older person or a pregnant lady needs a seat on the bus
  • Compliment people. It’s a really easy way to make someone’s day and spread positivity. “Great job there” “Your hair looks great” “That food was delicious, you’re a great cook” – see, simple!
  • If any of your ‘hilarious’ jokes involve casual sexism or racism, get rid of them. They are not funny. They cause me to unfriend you on facebook and tell my friends not to date you.

So there you go! Your whole future life has been transformed in the three minutes it took to read this. Follow the simple steps and watch as the world at large come to think of you as a smarter, more attractive, friendlier and more well-adjusted person!

You can thank me later.

 

*Some of you reading this might be thinking ‘I always have good manners, who does this randomer blogger think she is to patronise me like this?’ All I can say is if you already value good manners then THANK YOU; this doesn’t apply to you, but feel free to share it if you regularly run into people who don’t, like I do.

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