I’m Becoming One Of Them

This one crept up on me slowly, gradually – now it has happened and I fear it’s irreversible…

I shop in the homeware section and push a trolley in the supermarket.

I get annoyed when loud groups of horny teenagers sit near me on the bus.

I use anti-wrinkle cream.

I worry about exchange rates and what to do with my savings. Also, I have savings.

I own more maxi dresses than minis. The fuschia pink miniskirt I once wore to school is a thing of the past.

Here in Abu Dhabi the Pakistani taxi drivers can barely hide their shock when I tell them I’m unmarried – in Islamabad I would have three children by now, they tell me in broken English.

At family occasions my younger cousins remind me that my biological clock is ticking.


I’m twenty-fuckin-three.

And somehow I’ve become a grown up, without my expressed knowledge or consent. Stop the clock!

I want my money back!

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