Dear Santa…

Sorry I’m a bit late getting to you this year, but I’ve been really good! Well, reasonably good. Well, it depends on what you mean by good, I mean maybe we don’t share the same moral code. Let’s just assume I have been good anyway and move on to my demands requests.

You may have noticed, but Ireland’s not in great shape at the minute. And Santa, I hate to say it, but you haven’t been making things any easier! There are a number of steps you can take help us to once again become ‘the best little country in the world’.

  • Relocate Santa’s workshop: Have you considered how impractical the North Pole is as a base of operations? A move to Ireland would solve both of our problems. Ireland has a low corporate tax rate, and I’m sure we could do even better for magical, mythical gift-giving men. You think what you need is elves alone but I gotta tell you Santa, that would be considered discriminatory practice here in Europe. Luckily we’ve got 400,000 people on the dole who would be happy to take up positions – as long as you pay at least minimum wage and time and a half on Sunday.
  • Transport: Petrol is gone awfully expensive Santa – it has simply never been so costly to get from A to B. And it was 18 degrees here the other day – in the run-up to Christmas, talk about climate change!

    I can’t help but notice that between your sleigh and reindeer, you seem to be able to travel all over the world in the space of one night on just a few carrots. So I’m respectfully requesting that you leave Rudolph and a couple of the female reindeer [dancer and vixen] in one of our top Kildare studs to breed. Emission-free transport for all!

  • If you can’t manage either of the above, please try and provide us with some Christmas cheer. There’s a lot of doom and gloom around the place Santa. If you can’t solve our economic problems as I have layed out above then pretty please use your magic to spread a bit of festive cheer!
Anyway Santa – I don’t want to be too greedy. I’m sure you’ve got me on some kind of list so go to check it and see if you can bring in any of my suggestions.
Lots of love,
Katie (aged 23)
  1. Nayab says:

    I love reading your posts… they are so funny! 🙂
    Merry Christmas!


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