Much and more has been written about the heretofore unfathomable generation that came in between Gen X and Gen Z, but for some reason couldn’t just be known as Gen Y. Here, we examine some self-evident truths about the millennial generation, generally thought of as beginning in the early to mid 1980s and ending in the late nineties.
Here are the facts:
Millennials just do not want to work
Reports suggest that millennials are likely to last just eight months in a job. When you’re thinking about that in relation to their parents who spent 20-30 years in a job, ignore all the societal changes that have happened in that time and just jump on the headline. I mean, millennials LOVE working on precarious zero-hour and short term contracts – they add a little spontaneity to life! Not to mention unpaid internships, which give young people the opportunity to work 40 hours a week for free and get sarcastic comments about still living of their parents at 23.
Never mind that the secure, permanent, pensionable jobs our parents had largely don’t exist any more and we’re constantly reminded that robots are coming to take our jobs – that’s all somehow millennials own fault even though the generation that came before obviously laid all the groundwork but own none of the responsibility.
mILLENNIALS ARE SPECIAL LITTLE SNOWFLAKES WHO TAKE OFFENCE AT EVERY LITTLE THING
Millennials are such social justice warriors that you can’t say anything to these days – I mean, you’re not even allowed make one little wildly racist, homophobic or sexist joke or comment and suddenly you’re trending on Twitter and people are calling for your resignation. For just one ‘hilarious’ rape joke or use of the N-word, careers are going down the drain. Couldn’t they just lighten up?
In this politically-correct-gone-mad climate, millennials have created a scenario where you’ve got to be respectful of all of the different minorities all the time. It’s obviously made life a lot easier for members of those minority groups, but it has also mildly inconvenienced some privileged middle class people, and millennials just never seem to worry about that.
MILLENNIALS ARE BANKRUPTING THEMSELVES WITH AVOCADO TOAST AND FLAT WHITES
Compounded by the abject laziness described above, millennials lead self-indulgent lifestyles, overspending on fancy coffees and hipster-ish snacks. Don’t they know that if they saved the €30-40 they’re spending on this stuff each week and made their own lunches like their frugal parents, they’d have a deposit saved up for a small three-bedroom home on the outskirts of Dublin in a mere 15-20 years.
Foolish millennials are choosing to actively enjoy their youth rather than scrimping and saving to participate in a rat race for a home in a completely avoidable and unnecessary housing crisis they did nothing to create but must also somehow accept most of the blame for. Don’t ask their parents why they continually voted in governments that abolished social and affordable housing scheme and axed the First Time Buyers Grant – millennials should have had the foresight to see that one coming and invested their Communion money more wisely.
Millennials are living out an extended ADOLESCENce – they don’t even drive
Dumb millennials can’t even get it together to have the thousands – or tens of thousands – of euro it costs to buy a car, and then insure it, tax it, repair it, fuel it and pay for somewhere to park it each year. Instead, these city slickers are choosing to walk, cycle or – get this – take public transport to work.
Despite the obvious benefits this has for their personal finances, the environment, and congestion in the cities they live in, this is really just more evidence of a generation that refuses to grow up.
Millennials can’t put their phones down and have a decent conversation
Let’s choose not to examine why perpetuating the cliches above might encourage millennials to find solace in a WhatsApp group conversation exchanging memes with 14 of their closest friends instead of engaging with you, the generation who raised them to be who they are and now constantly criticises them for being who they are. Older generations can never have any part of the blame for anything because respect your elders.
If iPhones had been around when your parents were young, they would have used them only to find useful, practical information and not for recreational purposes.
Millennials are to blame for all the things because they are the worst. Let’s ignore the fact that going back as far as the Ancient Greeks, every generation has had some version of “Young people these days don’t know how good they have it”, because millennials really are just the worst.
They’re just facts, sorry if it offends you, snowflake.
I’m a 29-year-old travel and lifestyle blogger from Galway, Ireland.
I’m passionate about seeing the world and meeting people from different countries. I love noticing the similarities and differences between people around the world. In a divided world, I genuinely believe that experiencing other cultures first hand is one of the best ways to combat prejudice.
In between travel, I write about Irish events, restaurants, and news, as well as opinion pieces on topical issues.